::Partial Relief::

("('o')")Tonight I think I could sleep better.... Thanx to him.... But I shouldn't celebrate 'coz I know anger and doubt is still on his heart.... Now I know what to do..... I hope that this time I could win his heart again.... I'll never do the same mistake to the person I love most.... Now I know how important he is to me.... Without him is like taking away the air I breathe... I really don't want to lose him.... Though I've done a very big mistake.... And for that, I really feel so sorry... This past few days, I've been so selfish.... I didn't think about what he'll feel if ever he finds out.... I'm really sorry.... Starting from now on, I'll do my best to become a deserving girl for him.... I know he deserves a girl better than me.... But I really can't help it... I really love him so much.... So much, that I don't wanna lose him.... 'coz losing him is like taking my life away from me.... I know it will gonna be hard for him to believe me but still I'm taking the risk of telling him how I feel 'coz I know to myself that from now on I'll never ever tell a single lie to him no matter how simple it is... 'coz he never did it to me even once.... and for that I feel so guilty.... Now, I'll go to my class and take my exam.... *crossing my fingers hoping to pass the exam* Now.... I've really learned my lesson... Thanks to him... I really love him so much.... Hope that he still loves me...

::Last Chance::

::I really can't think so well today.... My friends don't want to participate on my problems.... I guess it's all my fault.... I didn't treasure the most precious person that I could ever have.... I guess his gone..... There's nothing left for me.... I think I can't do anything to endure his pain.... I really guess it's over.... I don't want to force him to accept me or to love me again all I want is another chance.... I know that I'm not worthy to be blessed with another chance.... Sorry for all the things that I've done.... I guess I have no choice but to move on.... I really can't take this pain inside of me... How I wish that a big wind could come my way and fly me to a place far from here.... A place where I could cry out loud and burst all the pain inside of me.... 'coz I feel much pain than he feels 'coz I'm the one who tried to hurt him and now I feel what he feels so the pain I'm feeling now was doubled.... Even I don't have anyone to comfort me right now.... I guess I'm all alone again.... trying to find myself again... How I wish I won't feel anything at all.... I wish I was dead!

::All day on the Net::

("('o')")Ano kaya pwedeng magawa ngayon? Magpost? tapos na kasi naipost ko na to? Magcheck ng email? na check ko na rin.... maglaro? Oo tama! masarap maglaro ng online games.... kaso nakakasawa rin pag nagtagal.... boring talaga tong araw na to! feeling ko wala akong nagawang maganda today! Worthless kumbaga! lahat nalang mali! pag may ginawa akong kinaaaliwan ko may magagalit na ina! ewan ko ba! basta yun na yun! buhul-buhol na nga utak ko sa kakaisip kung ano ang isusulat ko rito eh, kasi baka may magalit... Di naman mainit ang suot ko ngayon, ewan ko ba kung bakit parang kumukulo ang dugo ko... di na bale lilipas rin naman to eh... oo parang kumukulong tubig na kapag pinabayaan mo sa isang tabi lalamig na rin.... Oo nga tama..... magpapalamig na lang muna ako....... na parang tubig...

::-=QuEeN_oF_sNoW=-::

Birthday: June 8, 2004


"Her Ghost in the Fog"

"The Moon, she hangs like a cruel portrait
soft winds whisper the bidding of trees
as this tragedy starts with a shattered glass heart
and the Midnightmare trampling of dreams
But oh, no tears please
Fear and pain may accompany Death
But it is desire that shepherds it's certainty
as We shall see..."

She was divinity's creature
That kissed in cold mirrors
A Queen of Snow
Far beyond compare
Lips attuned to symmetry
Sought Her everywhere
Dark liquored eyes
An Arabian nightmare...

She shone on watercolours
Of my pondlife as pearl
Until those who couldn't have Her
Cut Her free of this World

That fateful Eve when..
The breeze stank of sunset and camphor
Their lanterns chased phantoms and threw
An inquisitive glance, like the shadows they cast
On my love picking rue by the light of the moon

Putting reason to flight
Or to death as their way
They crept through woods mesmerized
By the taffeta Ley
Of Her hips that held sway
Over all they surveyed
Save a mist on the rise
(A deadly blessing to hide)
Her ghost in the fog

They raped and left...
(Five men of God)
...Her ghost in the fog

Dawn discovered Her there
Beneath the Cedar's stare
Silk dress torn, Her raven hair
Flown to gown Her beauty bared
Was starred with frost, I knew Her lost
I wept 'til tears crept back to prayer

She'd sworn Me vows in fragrant blood
"Never to part
Lest jealous Heaven stole our hearts"

Then this I screamed:
"Come back to Me
for I was born in love with thee
So why should fate stand inbetween?"

And as I drowned Her gentle curves
With dreams unsaid and final words
I espied a gleam trodden to earth
The Church bell tower key...

The village mourned her by good bye
For She'd been a witch
their Men had longed to try
And I broke under Christ seeking guilty signs
My tortured soul on ice

A Queen of snow
Far beyond compare
Lips attuned to symmetry
Sought Her everywhere
Trappistine eyes
An Arabian nightmare...

She was Erzulie possessed
Of a milky white skin
My porcelain Yin
A graceful Angel of Sin

And so for Her...
The breeze stank of sunset and camphor
My lantern chased Her phantom and blew
Their Chapel ablaze and all locked in to a pain
Best reserved for judgement that their bible construed...

Putting reason to flight
Or to flame unashamed
I swept form cries
Mesmerized
By the taffeta Ley
Or Her hips that held sway
Over all those at bay
Save a mist on the rise
A final blessing to hide
Her ghost in the fog

And I embraced
Where lovers rot...
Her ghost in the fog

Her ghost in the fog